Some National Facts
NATIONAL EXCUSE for HAIR LOSS: Maggi Mee.
NATIONAL EXCUSE for BEING LATE: Traffic Jam.
NATIONAL CONDOM: None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rush into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.
NATIONAL FRUIT for INDUCING MENSTRUATION: Pineapple and Cu-cun-ber (Cucumber)
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK: Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start swearing at everything...
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS for GETTING MC(MEN): Food poisoning.
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS for GETTING MC(WOMEN): Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN by WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, period, haven't removed make-up, haven't had a shower, no water supply, going to watch "Desperate Housewives", depressed, no mood, etc...
NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN by MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX: None. Malaysian men never refuse sex.
NATIONAL CURE for HEADACHES: Panadol. The "cure for all." If it fails we have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE for DIZZINESS: Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE of DIZZINESS (For YUPPIES): Happy Hours.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE for DIZZINESS(Dedicated for YUPPIES): The sight of a police roadblock.
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP: Anywhere, as long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL WORKING HOURS: 10.30am - 12.30am, 3pm-5pm (go to any government office to see for yourself)
NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME: Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thought, why bother pronouncing silly French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. It sounds better when the local mechanics say "Pew Jeot." In school, Milo was always 'MeeLo.' Don't be embarrassed saying "Carry 4" when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as "orangootan."
NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION: The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes "bouncing" about on the streets.
NATIONAL FAVOURITE DAY: Holiday & Pay Day
